The problem of passive-aggressive behavior is the subject of public debate and a part of the culture. In today’s article, we’ll try to find out whether it threatens us.
Passive-aggressive behavior is the suppressed expression of anger. It is manifested in sarcasm, procrastination and unconscious sabotage. It destroys relationships, inhibits the growth of the company, prevents people from being happy.
Passive-aggressive behavior occurs when a person forbids himself to express anger: describe it in words or emotions. Instead of expressing anger, a person blocks it.
Passive aggression is the scar from childhood. A person gets it when parents restrict him to express anger. Perhaps, they are masters of passive aggression themselves, and the child immediately absorbs their inability to express their feelings. Passive aggression becomes a part of the personality and it is extremely difficult to note it in yourself if you do not know its features.
It is easy to identify a person with passive-aggressive behavior:
Passive aggression inhibits and destroys the business. In addition to the above-mentioned features, it is also easy to identify passive aggression in the office:
Imagine that you make a cold call. You say hello, do the introduction, start asking questions. But as soon as the client understands that you are trying to sell him something he instantly says:
Thank you, we do not need anything.
Is the situation familiar to you? This is a passive-aggressive reaction. The client wants to send us to hell, but suppresses this impulse. In this state, it is useless to work with him. But this state can be changed. But first, understand the reasons for such behavior.
According to one of the main psychological theories, our brain consists of several historically formed bodies: the reptilian brain, the neocortex, and the limbic brain – the cortex and prefrontal parts.
The reptilian brain is responsible for primitive physiological survival: identification of danger, fear, panic, aggression are the reactions of the reptilian brain.
The limbic brain is responsible for complex emotions like memory, learning, regulation of pressure and hormones. This brain belongs to mammal and it allows us to feel love and resentment, joy and sadness, desire for momentary pleasure.
The neocortex is the highest thought process, language, and logic, rational decisions. This brain is able to weigh the pros and cons, make plans for the future. The cortex can instruct the limbic brain to deprive himself of momentary pleasure to achieve a bigger goal in the future.
It seems that people are always at the highest level of the brain making rational decisions and weighing everything. Actually – no. The most of time people act according to the mechanisms of the limbic and reptilian brains, guided by the basic things: habits, the principle of immediate rewards, constant fear, and aggression, the desire to protect themselves, inability to act in accordance with the strategic plan.
This is not always true, of course. But when someone says “Thank you, we do not need anything” – there is no doubt, that this is a reptilian brain in action.
To disable aggression of the reptile, let it know that you are more terrible reptile:
Hello! My name is … I am preparing a report for …
Now draw the attention:
I collect information on the effectiveness of companies …
And then ask leading questions and sell. The client disconnects the reptilian protection and is ready to listen to your rational arguments.